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Two Frozen Mochas, please

2010-09-15T02:05:00.001-04:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

SEPTEMBER 14, 2010

I could buy a one way ticket and get the hell out here -- stop at every place I ever wanted to visit and pretend I am someone I am not. Guess what? I am not going to do that. I have a point to prove. I need to prove every hater, every doubter, every believer and every supporter I can do what I dreamed to do.

You can call me every name in the book. I know..

I am selfish and greedy. I am a b!tch and every other name in the book. I also, am the person who cares and loves, and forgives. I am a dreamer and a doubter. I am happy-go-lucky and depressed. I am funny and serious. I am overrated and underrated. I am a walking contradiction, but who says you aren't either. Who says you are the one to judge? Or I am to judge you?

---

Today, I woke up with tears in my eyes after multiple bad dreams full of hatred and anger and an overwhelming feeling of insecurities and homesickness. It took me about an hour or so plus a pep talk from my dearest friend to get me out of bed. With all my might, I faced the day. I made it a me day. I am sure clients didn't approve, but who says I don't deserve it --just like you deserve one.

After a lunch and coffee with mum, movies and a snuggle on the couch were in order. After several hours of being lazy, it was time to find a new getaway park.

Sorry, Memorial Park, I needed a change of scenery.

I entered my new getaway. Welcome to Silver Creek Park! How amazing it was. Temperature was 73 degrees, light breeze, sun getting ready to set, people all over in conversation, camera in hand, and waves littered the water. PERFECT!

As, I walked around the water taking pictures and trying to make people not feel awkward I got lost in the music that filled my eardrums. Nothing hit me harder than when Everything by Winslow came on my ipod! My day had become full circle. It became a moment where I could live forever. Every feeling of negativity went out the window. It was magical -- a fairy tale ending.

I guess taking the personal day was the perfect thing to do. Got my quality time in with mum, and a talk with a dear friend, got my frozen mocha, snuggle time and a walk in the park. Enough to put me to sleep with a smile on my face.

I thank God for the moments like these. Maybe you should too. Try to experience the feeling I did today.

Tune out the world and tune into what you really need. You never know how much your heart craves to feel love from within.

---

Learn to love yourself. When you least expect it you will hit rock bottom and wonder who loves you and if you don't love yourself, who will. It is a lesson I learned today. I woke up hating and doubting myself, but by nightfall I learned I need to love, so I can feel love. Take a minute to love somebody. Hate is so easy, but maybe, so is love. Try it.

---

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

Oh and when I'm gone, I hope you mention my name,
I hope you care about the man,
After you Place the Blame,
Let our years turn to gold,
And never wither away and be forgotten,
I don't wanna be forgotten

Leaving an Angel by Corey Smith

Smile Rejected -- page 452

2010-09-14T02:29:00.000-04:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

SEPTEMBER 13, 2010

A light on your car goes on, you look in the owner's manual. An electronic goes bad, you look the problem up in the instruction manual. It seems everything, even toys have manuals, but why doesn't life have an instruction manual. Crazy!

When there is a problem why can't I just go to page 165 and find the answer. Sometimes I just wish life was simpler. Before you insert, you are strong you can make it through it or what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, please think about what you are saying.

I get it people, I am strong, I have gone through a lot before the age of 23, but please let me be weak, don't make me be the strong one all the time. It is not easy being strong all the time -- even if it means hiding tears.

---

Today, I was sitting in one of my favorite bookstores working away on projects for one of my favorite clients -- trying to get lost in a land of make believe. I decided it was time for me to quit pretending and head home, when I glanced up at a gray haired, middle class man -- looked pretty typical, nothing interesting that is for sure. I smiled at him and in return he gave me the stinker eye and shook his head.

I didn't know that smile would lead to so much hurt inside of me. As, I was packing up my belongings I hurried up to hide the tears that I had welding up in my eyes. As, I ran down the escalator, I caught one last look at him, and thought don't let that door hit you in the ass on the way out, or don't trip you, a-hole.

Not sure where all the anger came from, but for some reason the only smile I gave out that day was to someone who didn't appreciate the thoughtfulness behind a sincere and genuine smile.

This is where I need an instruction manual. Smile rejected -- page 452.

---

Folks, take the time to return a smile if you mean it or not because you don't know the battle that the person is fighting on the other side. Take a minute to worry about a friend and not yourself. Say hi to someone you haven't talked to in awhile, or even surprise 'em with a visit. Take time for yourself, but take time out for someone else.

---

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

---

And no one said that life was easy
No one said that life was fair
But nobody said that love would fail
And every night I cry
I feel like I could die a thousand times
Before the sunrise

Everything by Winslow

In Certain Company

2010-09-05T17:18:00.001-04:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

SEPTEMBER 4, 2010

If you don't believe in angels please don't take the time to criticize. This isn't about if they exist or not. This is a spine chilling story.

On the perfect fall day, I was laying on the floor doing some follow ups and getting work done. All three dogs were snoozing and mum was laying on the couch for a mid-afternoon nap. Every thing seemed normal, nothing but peace and quiet ran through the house. Silence is golden, as someone used to tell me as, I wouldn't shut up.

Out of nowhere all three dogs, there was a fit of barking -- and the sound of a garage door opening was heard faintly in the background. Not only was I freaked out because I was the only one up and awake, but I was scared of how someone got in.

Mum shot up and looked at me with a dazed looked. I was trying to tell her what happened, and she continued to look at me like I was a crack baby.

I wanted to go see what was going on and if I really did hear what I heard. Of course, I made her go first to see if the door was actually opened, we managed to sneak to the door Scooby Doo style. [please picture this]

We made it to the garage, as we had Sophie [the wiener dog] as guard dog. We opened the door to the garage, and I was in tornado position to kick the shins of the individual who opened our garage door.

To our surprise, no one was there, but the door was open and the light was on - bizarre. As, we closed the door, and shut the door to the house we were standing in the kitchen when all of a sudden there was a knock on the door -- the one that lead to the garage.

As my heart pounded out of my chest, I snuck out of the house to peak in the windows, detective style. No one was there.

Who says there aren't angels. People can get technical and say it was probably someone with the same signal, I say it was an angel. I say it was a blessing. I haven't seen the big picture, but hopefully I will see it someday soon.

---

It just seems a little to ironic when the night before my mom jumped at dinner and no one was there. She goes someone just tapped me on the shoulder. No one was there!

---

Also, the other day, I was driving home, feeling of all sorts and the radio was playing The Black Crowes', She Talks to Angels. And yes, maybe I do. Maybe these are all signs of something good, or of something bad. You can decide.

Maybe you should try talking to them and see what they say. It could never hurt. It might even give you a little light at the end of your tunnel.

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty.

Lesley

---

Click for the video

The Black Crowes -- She Talks to Angels

Says she talks to angels / They call her out by her name / Oh yeah, she talks to angels / Says they call her out by her name

Don't tell me if I'm dying

2010-08-27T02:10:00.000-04:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

AUGUST 26, 2010

There are days you bust your butt and feel productive, and days you lose your self along with your mind. Then there are days like I had today. The one where you fell off your rocker and wonder if you should get out of bed.

Hiding under the sheets is way more comforting than an inbox full of emails, a stack of papers to ceiling and a circuit board of other problems. Is anyone in their right mind willing to give up their bed sheets for paper sheets?

As I wiggled out of bed, I threw myself in the shower and still was not motivated to handle the work load. I started to chisel away at my work -- I went from bitter to irate. At that very moment, it was time to unplug the computer and plug in the iPod.

I said goodbye to work and said hello to Memorial Park.

I cranked up my iPod went through the artist alphabetically and only listened to one song per artist. I forgot there were songs on there that existed. Some better than others and some that blew my mind -- every song was fitting in some way -- the way it sounded or the way the lyrics flowed.

As I walked the same path five times to reach my two mile minimum -- I lost myself, I was someone else, I was a little girl with a huge imagination. I was the five year old girl swinging on the swing waiting to go to ballet class in her pink tutu.

Every time I walked under the aisle of trees, I wanted to be doing ballet and everyone hear the song that was on my iPod--it was perfectly fitting. I wanted people to realize that they are beautiful in their own special way.

---

As, I close this...

People say make believe is for children. I say make believe is for those with an imagination.

Be the dancer you always wanted to be, fly a refrigerator box airplane, build a fort and pretend it's a castle.

Let me know what you decide to do!

---

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

Don't tell me if I'm dying / Cause I don't wanna know / If I can't see the sun / Maybe I should go / Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming / Of angels on the moon / Where everyone you know / Never leaves too soon -- Angels on the Moon by Thriving Ivory

I hope you dance

2010-08-23T23:31:00.002-04:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

AUGUST 23, 2010

I am siting here in a Barnes and Noble with my iPod turned up and table filled with design books, scrap paper, someone else's non-used napkin, my gum wrappers and my Blackberry. The escalator to go down is broke; everyone keeps walking over to it and wondering how to get down. I hear everyone coming up and try to picture what they have on and what they look like. Maybe I watch people too much, but it's how I observe them. Creepy, I know, but hey I know you do it too.

After a night full of mixed feelings and feeling lost with life, this was the perfect escape. Working on my resume, Mr. I know everything came up to me and gave me pointers. I smiled and acted like I cared what he said. He showed me his resume and I was nothing but under impressed. It looked like everyone else's resume. (pardon me, I am no design expert, but you are in a creative field. Shouldn't it have a little bit of spice to it? Just a thought.)

Maybe it wasn't where I thought it would end up with Mr. Cocky peeking over my shoulder, but when I lost all hope of escaping him out of nowhere, Little Birthday Boy showed up. He had to be no older than 7 with 3 balloons [green, red, and orange] tied around his wrist. He was with what seemed to be his mom and dad and they were here to by a birthday gift. He ran to the kid's section for a book and came back with book in hand then discovered the Lego section right next to my table. The book suddenly disappeared and his gift magically turned into a new Lego set.

Amongst all the tedious work I was doing, Little Birthday Boy showed me how to smile. I could hear a very faint conversation being had in a different language between him and his parental units. I would of loved to know what was going on -- a conversation about the book or legos, what would be more influential to him. I wanted to say let him get the Legos, but hey it could be from just staring at them for over 2 hours. The Legos looked pretty cool, every dad and grandpa seemed to pick a box of them up. I wanted to shout get them, but stayed silent.

---

Many things have been going on in life, made me forget where I am, what emotions are, and who I am. It isn't anyone's fault but my own. It seems to be that I have been at the wrong place at the wrong time. And after many incidents of that, I finally realized I need to pick myself up off the ground and get moving again.

No one said life was easy that is for sure or told you, you would be happy always. There are things that can make you lose who you are or only feel sadness, but there are things that can turn you around.

How about walking into your favorite restaurant and them knowing what you order and how you like it? How about someone buying you a shirt that you want, or giving you a hug and sending you a text saying you look cute as you are standing ten feet away?

Happiness isn't always in others, it is finding it in yourself. It is knowing you are beautiful-- inside and out, it is knowing that you are unique and normal, and you are accepted by someone, somewhere and accepting yourself for who you are!

I am not saying this is easy to know, or to feel -- trust me when I say this, I am guilty of feeling unloved and unwanted. I know what it is like to have bad luck, but I know what it is like to have good luck, to be loved and to be cherished. I know what it is like to be adored, and to be hated. I know what it is to lose it all and to gain things back little by little. Trust me at the end of the day there is something to smile about. If you lost something, know you once had it. If you cry, know there is a smile around the corner, and know that if you are going through a rough patch there is easy sailing ashore.

---

As I write this, I am listening to "I Hope You Dance" by Leanne Womack. I discovered this song when I had lost a part of my life, I played it and knew that it was meant for me. And I hope you take a listen to it. Hope you understand the meaning of it and hope you take the advice. It is cliche, but in the end sometimes being cliche is okay.

Check out the I hope you dance video by clicking here.

"I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

You get your fill to eat

But always keep that hunger

May you never take one single breath for granted

God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance"

---

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

Once a week

2010-05-27T01:23:00.000-04:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

MAY 26, 2010

I once had the words to write every day. Now I wish I had words to write once every week. A lot has been going on in my mind -- somethings I think are too personal to talk about. And now is one of those times. I don't have words to speak or the strength to lend a hand. I don't mean to abandon or stray away from anyone -- for me to help you, I must help myself first.

I have had heard this time and time again and now I feel it is true. I must take care of myself. I need to focus on me, I need to better myself, I need to simply take a break.

I want you to know when I go out in public I feel as if I am standing naked in Time Square. I am in udder shock of it all. I forget how people work and what they think. Don't mistake me for not caring or wanting pity. That is not true. I love everyone even if I say I hate you.

As I end this, I want you to know I can listen, but I may not have all the right words to say.

I hope to right again soon, but till then stay strong and let me know what you are thinking.

I will leave you with this quote :

"Never compare your inside with somebody else's outside." - Hugh Macleod

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!
Lesley

911... What is your emergency?

2010-05-11T01:52:00.000-04:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

MAY 10, 2010

If you haven't picked up on it yet, I am a true believer of signs. Everything happens for a reason. The people in your life are there for a reason. Some people will come and some people will go. The duration always varies.

I met a guy last summer in the emergency room at South Pointe Hospital shortly after the first of June. I remember the whole situation as if it happened yesterday. This is no romance.

I was at the Lodi Outlet mall just wasting time and getting some me time in, as I walked into the very first store my mom calls and says can you come pick me up, I have really bad stomach pains. I thought nothing of it, not five minutes away from her work, I get this message, "Lesley, you might want to call an ambulance your mom is severe pain and is laying on the floor of your dad's office." Every emotion ran through my head. What do I do? Who do I call? What is wrong with my mom? Is she dying? I can't lose her too! Every thought, every action, every emotion ran through my mind. As I got there, the ambulance was in the parking lot. I could not tell you how bad I was shaking or the amount of worry that ran through my head.

This is my mom I thought. I ran into her work to find her in pain and laying on the floor. Not exactly something I wanted to see. They finally got her in the ambulance and took her to the hospital. [No we didn't run any lights and the sirens weren't on. Tell her she needs a refund on her ambulance bill!]

Before she got admitted to her room, the emergency room was like rush hour traffic. There were so many people in there that not everyone got their own room. As, I walked around waiting to hear answers about what was going on, I saw this guy who got my attention. He was about 6 foot, glasses, well put together and was about my age.

After 4 days, my mom got moved. To my surprise this guy's mom was two doors down from my mom. One day he came in and introduced himself. His name was Jeff.

Two days later, I went to go ask Jeff, if he would like to go get dinner with me to get our minds off such a serious matter. He was gone and the room was cleared. I knew what happened.

I tried to find him on facebook, but with a common name it is almost near impossible to find someone online. I did this is in the non-creeperish way -- if possible. I lost hope and kept praying that everything with him and his family would be okay.

***

Nearly a year later, I found him. I was standing watching Winslow play at the Scene Tasteful Affair and I turned to a friend and said I think I met him in the ER last summer. I am pretty sure she thought I had been doing some heavy drugs. We ended up getting reintroduced through another friend.

I gave a long intro before I told him my name. I am pretty sure he thought I had been smoking some kind of crazy drug and then said wasn't your hair lighter last summer. I nodded my head and said it was red. He then confirmed everything I thought and knew. And from that moment, I was frozen.

---

That night I realized more than I normally do, that I am absolutely blessed to have my mom in my life. We may argue and nag each other, but if I didn't have that I would be lost. We find ourselves funnier than other people do and usually have a good time.

Also, that night I found so much more. I found a sense of who I was. People say I look like her, but I beg to differ, but in a good way. We have been called sisters and even twins -- and I am okay with that. She says lucky for me, not so lucky for you. But I say I am pretty damn lucky.

I see so much of her in me. As I get older, I hope I can be a mom just like her. As she reads this she will say you will be a better mom, but I don't know. I highly doubt it.

---

As mother's day passed, remember your mom every day just not once or twice a year. She is your mother -- dead or alive. She brought you up and sure can take you out. If she is deceased, go visit her grave stone and leave her a flower. If she is alive, thank her, hug her, or even cook her dinner.

A few short moments of your time could change her world. She will appreciate it.

Love you, mom!

---

Remember, I can make ugly pretty!

Lesley

---

I love my mother as the trees love water and sunshine - she helps me grow, prosper, and reach great heights. ~Terri Guillemets

Over-thinking sure is...

2010-05-03T01:51:00.000-04:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

MAY 2, 2010

Over-thinking sure is a bitch. Yes, I said it. Pardon me!

Frustration does not play well with others. No matter what mood you are in or the other person is in there is probably going to be a slight altercation, argument, dispute, or drama that happens. It's life.

I have been trying to get a grip on frustration and dealing with people, but let me tell you. I think pulling a semi full of elephants is easier to do than overcome the feeling of frustration. But hey that is me.

While suffocating from frustration, over-thinking mode is right around the corner. It sure wants to become friendly. I just want to kick the damn emotion to the curb, but it always seems like I am inviting it in for a cup of coffee. I don't know how to get rid of it. Counting to ten, walking away, or going out with friends are solutions people recommend, but it usually doesn't work. Trust me if it did work, do you think I would be frustrated all the time?

Don't tell me time will make things better. Me and time are enemies. And that just adds more frustration. Which leads to over-thinking. And we all know what over-thinking is.

I don't have any advice to make you feel better about this topic or things you can try. I just know you are not the only one out there frustrated. Feel free to leave your frustrations below. I am sure there is someone out there who has been through it just like you and would love to talk to you about. Just smile and be thankful you have something to be frustrated about. Right? -- No, I cannot believe I just said that.

---

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

---

When I am down / Would you be my clown helping my get through to the other side? / When it all goes astray would you fade away / Or would you be… / Would be my side show - Winslow

You make me smile like the sun

2010-04-21T01:27:00.000-04:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

APRIL 20, 2010

A smile is a smile. Some are returned, some aren't. Some are fake. Some are genuine. Some are innocent while others are seductive.

There are a million different types of smiles, and they all change by the emotion you are feeling. And according to Info Barrel.com, Smiling releases endorphins and makes us feel better, even when you fake a smile you can feel better.

And I am a firm believer on this. I have talked to friends, my counselor and family members about smiling and the effect it has had on me.

---

I was having one of those days where the weather described your mood. It was black and rainy with clouds -- pure nastiness and that was exactly how I felt. I was walking out of Gabriel Brother's and there was this girl, probably four or five with purple sugar all over her face, candy in one hand a stuffed animal in the other. I looked down and she was looking up at me with her bug eyes and smiled.

I smirked back and laughed on the way to the car. I had snapped back in my mood by the time I reached my car. As the week past, I could not get that little girl out of the back of my head. I still cannot get her out of my head, when I am having a bad day. She was so innocent and so precious to even have a care in the world.

---

Today was such a good day, but as it called it quits, and turned out the lights it literally turned day into night. Emotions got the best of me and I sat there crying wondering why me. As a friend and I remencised about our futures and I remembered that girl, and it changed my day back to being happy.

---

Next time you see someone down or you feel you need to help someone out, but don't know how, share a smile. It is the easiest thing you can do and it is even FREE. Try it and see how it feels.

---

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

---

Even when you're gone / Somehow you come along / Just like a flower poking the sidewalk crack and just like that / You steal away the rain and just like that -- Uncle Kracker

Half-written

2010-04-20T01:53:00.002-04:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

APRIL 19, 2010

Passion. Love. Is there a difference?

Think about it. Take a minute. Pause. Relax and Reflect.

Did you do that?

There is a difference. I am not talking in terms of romance and lust. I am speaking in terms of things that make you, you!

---

Several years ago, I wrote poetry. I had notebooks upon notebooks full of half-written poems, paragraphs that had no beginning or no end, and thoughts that were so abstract - I didn't know what I was talking about.

It was a release. It made sense to me and that was all that mattered. I don't share those thoughts with people because I am afraid of what someone would say, what someone would think. It's all in an art form.

Today, someone said my blog was well-written and it made them sound good. It's not a matter of making anyone sound good, or making me sound good. It is just the way I see it.

As I write this blog, it makes me feel human. It is a release. I was too afraid to write after my sophomore year of college after nearly flunking a class because I wrote too formal. It pulled everything out of me. I thought I wrote decent, but to him I did not.

After writing freely on my own, writing letters, and attempting to do my own thing, I figured why not give it another shot. I love writing.

I surround myself in a such world of just graphics and photographs -- but that's only part of my creativity. I love words just as much as I love design and photography.

---

Writing is not my passion. Every morning I don't think of what I am going to write or if I am going to write. But when I do I think things out and make sure they are how I want them to sound. I can type something over and over again until I like the way it sounds. It is obsessive compulsive. I have conversations in my head of what I would say and how I would say it. Odd, I know.

---

I write things, erase, and type again. Hit control Z and undo everything. I need everything to be perfect. Like lyrics of a song.

And here I stand writing to you about passion and love. And before this I preached about my bucket list and the importance it played in my life. Having a conversation with someone dear to me today, made me realize I have another item on my bucket list. -- Write a song and have it be recorded.

It seems so silly, but when lyrics end up facebook statuses and away messages it seems so simple. Words can change the way someone things, it can help brighten a day or explain a situation that can't be explained. It's something so magical to me when I know that someone was inspired by something so simple. It could be selfish, but something that makes me smile and thank God I am alive.

---

Life is too short to hold back on. Go head first and over analyze something so simple that makes you inspired to do something out of the box. Stand up and check your dreams - I am sure they are simple.

Your dreams aren't silly. They are what make you, you. Is it love or passion that keeps you going?

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

I am a light sleeper, but a heavy dreamer! -unknown.

Yup, I got that disease too.

2010-04-19T01:40:00.000-04:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

APRIL 18, 2010

Hello Anxiety! I would like you to please step out of my life for awhile. You have done nothing positive in my life especially this past weekend.

I know I am not the only one who gets anxiety from the littlest things. The rainy weather for three straight days, my never ending pile of work, expenses that need to be paid, amongst other things are causing me to have more anxiety attacks than I have ever expereinced before.

Over the weekend past, I found myself looking through my phone book and searching for drama. I needed a sense of attention. It's funny. A friend brought it up and I thought about it -- I need attention every once in awhile. Positive or negative, I will take it.

After we talked about this, I knew I was not the only one out there who felt the same way too. After I am sure a 100 or so text messages in a couple hours, I was still not fulfilled. The attention was not there, which caused me to have more anxiety.

As Sunday called it quits, she sent another text, be patient, it will happen. As, I thought about it, it all made sense -- instant gratification. Who would of thunk it? Yes, I am a victim of this disease. Whatever it is called, I have it.

Whether it is shopping or sending a text message, kicking and screaming or drinking an adult beverage, it all routes from instant gratification. It feels good at the moment and when it is all over it is back to reality. Happiness doesn't come from all that shopping or texting you do, causing drama or over indulging in booze. It helps right then and there, but when it wears off, where are you standing?

Think about it! You got to find happiness with in and not from others. I am stating things I need to do for myself. You can't go buy it, or drink it up, it's all about changing your way of thinking.

Find friends you can count on. They will help you in the long run. Everyone has the tough love friend, the shoulder to cry on friend, the instant gratification friend, the moral support friend, the gossip friend, the list goes on! Just find the friend or friends that mean the most in the times like these. I did and they help you from making stupid decisions.

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

---

Tomorrow’s just a sip away / And California’s burst into flames / What is clear and what is insane / Seem to meet somewhere in your name / I’m a little distracted / Running with shadows / A little distracted / Living in windows - Zach

So much for no ice

2010-04-16T00:49:00.001-04:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

APRIL 15, 2010

Jack and coke; - no ice. Two ingredients in a cup with two dinky straws. It's all I wanted and not hard to order. I approached the bar and this drunk guy looked at me and said what do you want. "Jack and coke-no ice," I responded. As I got my drink the drunk guy turned to me and said $4.50. I went from being somewhat excited and expected a drink to wondering what just happened. As I turned around, a guy looked at me and said, "so much for no ice."

From that moment on I did not know who I was talking to. The night went on and I found myself wanted to know about this character. He had the sexiest hair I have seen in a long time, his looks where simply metrosexual, and his flirtacious ways were simply irresistible. And of course his musician status made me simply want to know more.

He didn't seem to be the typical musician who went on about how he missed a part of the song or how he sounds like this band or how he was influenced by 13 bands that I have never even heard of. He went from a musician to feeling like I have known him forever, which I know is not true.

I have talked to him on several different accounts since Saturday. Each time I talk to him and learn about his drive, his life, and his personality. It is very strange. I am simple intrigued. Of course I meet new people all the time. Talk to them, few weeks later talk to them again and then run into them at a bar and maybe catch their show or hang out with them. Nothing special- just typical networking.

Minus the fact that he has played with Chris Daughtry and wrote guitar parts for some of the songs Chris Daughtry plays and all the other artists that he has played, he a normal human! The more I talk to the older musicians the cooler their stories are. I am not saying the younger ones are not interesting or that they don't have awesome stories because they do. I know they do. That is not my point. My point is the more you get people out of their element and on to their normal lives, the more normal they become.

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Next time someone you don't know protects you from a drunk at the bar -thank 'em. If they aren't creepy, they probably have a good story. Even the creep sticks have good stories but I am sure this could end bad for you. If they go outside to smoke and ask you if you smoke - go along even if you don't smoke. I am sure a chuckle about why you are standing outside will happen. Even give them your phone number if it isn't a creeper. If you are drunk make better decisions.

There are people at bars who are normal. They may be the guitarist in a band from another state drinking a beer standing behind you watching the drunk guy at the bar hit on you. Yeah, that person is probably normal.

Don't let a person so intriguing pass you by. I never thought I would be writing about a stranger I met a few short days ago and how normal they are. From what I heard they have a pretty intense life. I am going to say it is just like my story, my best friend's story, my cousin's story and the girl up the street's story. Everyone has a different story, but to a degree everyone has a similar story.

Check yourself. When you think your life is bad, just ask the person sitting next to you how they are. Maybe it will change your life, maybe it will give you an outlook that you never had before. As, I write this I thank this young gentlemen for saving me from the drunk guy and even making me pay for my drink - I had to put this in there. He might read it and it might make him realize I am out of 6 buck because of him. It's a joke people!

Next time listen to a story and understand that that person is human.

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!
Lesley

"They say that we're too young / Maybe they were right / What do they know anyway" -Jim Horn and Mark Perry

The Irony of it all

2010-04-08T00:53:00.000-04:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

APRIL 7, 2010

Today was rather rough. I am unsure why. Tomorrow is a day I wish I could skip every day for the rest of my life. April 8 just makes me cringe. I never thought I would be sitting here blogging about such great loss.

I am no expert at this whole loss thing, but I feel I could be the President of any club related to the such topic. I saw more loss in two years than I ever expected to see. I didn't even think a good friend, father, client, and a dog would all vanish out of my life all in the matter of six months. To continue on with the theme I lost my job, "friends" and every little ounce of happiness I had.

I don't want a pity party or anyone to tell me to stay strong. I have heard that more times than the times I got in trouble as a kid. Just know people do need someone to talk to and they don't want to hear that you are having the worst day of your life.

Saying you had the worst day of your life because you woke up late and your boss yelled at you is not even close to what some people have experienced. And if that is your worst day ever consider yourself lucky. Because if all I had to bitch about was that I broke a nail and couldn't find anything to wear, I would consider myself lucky.

Next time you see someone down, don't let them go unloved. Give them a hug and if you are in a hurry or busy tell them to text you and you can talk that way. It's something they need.

Remember to count your blessings and love your parents. I know sometimes it is hard to, but remember they gave you life, and they sure can take you out of this world. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about lucky I am to have my mom left.

----

Daddy's hands, soft and kind when I was cryin' / Daddy's hands, hard as steel when I done wrong. / Daddy's hands weren't always gentle but I've come to understand, There was always love in daddy's hands.

Don't drink when depressed

2010-04-07T01:02:00.000-04:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

APRIL 6, 2010

It has been awhile since I have written in here. I am slacking and I apologize to my readers. Leave me comments so I know you read it.

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There is a lot on my mind -- I wish I got more sleep last night, the traffic this morning was annoying, getting blood drawn was like someone gouging my arm with a machete, I should stay up longer and do work, I should punish myself for not getting anything accomplished.

The business meeting tonight lasted longer than I thought. I had all these goals, none got accomplished. I know I can do them all tomorrow, but will I have the energy? Tonight I had two tall beers, not the smartest move, but I needed to relax. Right?

Right, is the correct answer. But booze was not the correct answer to go. I am not saying I am an alcoholic in the least. I am stating that I like to have a drink or two. And tonight was not a good night.

As the excitement of the beer wore off, emotions got the best of me. Happiness turned to sadness, excitement turned to anger, satisfaction turned to pain. Nothing that I saw coming. As I started to realize, don't drink while depressed.

Tonight couldn't of ended any slower.

---

A year and a few days ago, I got a texted from someone who I grew close to over the years. [We sat through alot of classes together, we graduated high school together and ended up graduating five people apart from each other in college -- just like high school. ] I remember to this day, the exact feeling I had when I got the text. It said, "I am probably flying home soon, I may need you." I knew exactly what this meant.

I was in the middle of a shoot at a concert when I read it again. A hundred or so people stood there singing and dancing, as I stood there with chills and a simple tear running down my face. I immediately put my camera down, walked out of the bar and just stared at my phone. It was as if I just got struck by lightening.

I waited till the show ended, packed up my stuff and went home. I had no words to say or sentences to form. I drove home with my hands at ten and two, praying the whole way home.

A few long days passed, and I did everything I could to be some kind of support. A few days later, I get a text. He passed away. Two days shy of my dad's one year -- a close friend's father died. I didn't know him besides Erika's dad, but he always seemed pretty cool to me. If he was related to her -- he was nothing short of awesomeness. I just remember sitting next to Erika at graduation and her saying why are my parents still waving and why do they keep looking at me?

It is one of the fondest memories I have of her.

---

Each year it gets harder and harder. I find myself freezing in my tracks thinking about the simpleist things -- my gumball machine, my trip to Cleveland Clinic, a glass of Jack and Coke or even a model rocket.

Time becomes precious as you grow older. People become fragile and memories fonder. If I had a million more days to live I would thank everyone who has touched me -- in a good way or a bad way because I am who I am because of you. Remember to share opportunities with people because you never know when that goodbye will be.

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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Quote of the day:

"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." Will Rogers

Have a nice day

2010-03-29T01:11:00.001-04:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

MARCH 28, 2010

Life is a very time consuming thing sometimes. There are days where I wish I had about 12 more hours in the day. I would use those extra hours to relax and calm down. There are days when I just need to relax and let everything go for just a minute.

This past week was somewhat trying. I had a day where I thought my world was crashing down and I would not let anyone get close to me. The next day it made me open my eyes and realize that I am only human and everyone has different emotions.

There are things people say and can effect the way you think, the way your day goes, and the way you treat people. Thursday was one of those days.

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The other day I was headed to a party, and they asked if I could bring flour. I stopped at a Walgreens off the highway. I hadn't been to that store for anything but a flu shot in over two years. I went up to the lady, and said, "Excuse me, can you help me?" She looked at me and said "how can I help you?" I asked her where the flour was and she lead the way. I made small talk with her and told her I hadn't been into a Walgreens in a couple years. She responded saying you should come by more often.

As she handed me a bag of flour, I thanked her, paused and told her I hope you have a good evening. I looked at her facial expression. I think it was the first time in awhile or if ever that someone said that to her. She looked at me confused and said thanks, you too.

I am not exactly sure why I told her to have a good evening because I just usually say thanks for the help and continue on with my business. Everything inside of me was telling me to say that. So, I did and I left with a warm feeling that I possibly could of made her day.

Something small and something so simple made me feel good. I am not bragging about what I did because I want people to tell me how great I am or anything. It is not my purpose. It is knowing what you do and say can change someone's day or even make the smile.

Smiles are something wonderful to have. Next time you are out. Smile at that little old lady, the man who has velcro shoes on, the kid with mismatched clothes, or the woman who looks like she is on verge of a breakdown. It might make their day even if they don't smile back. They could think about it later that day and realized there is someone out there with a heart.

Count your blessing and smile just a little bit more.

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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I want to thank you / for giving me the best day of my life / Oh just to be with you / is having the best day of my life -- Dido

No photos, please

2010-03-24T01:51:00.001-04:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

MARCH 21, 2010

People say they know you. People say they wish they were you. People say all these things about you, but are they really true? Do they really mean them?

People are very interesting creatures. People want to be the people the see. Do they really understand how much effort those people put in each day? Do they see the hardwork they put in each day? Or do they think it is all luck? Do they know the suffering they experienced?

---

There are days, I wish I was someone else living a different life. I dream of what life will be like when I finally grow up or when I get a job -- if my business doesn't get off the ground. Yet, I thank God for the life I have. There are things I want to change and memories I want to relive, but at the end of the day I am grateful for the family I have, the friends that I made, the memories that were discovered and all the other little things that keep going when the day decides to call it quits.

---

The other day I was blessed with one of the most touching jobs I could of ever received. People brag about jobs they got, the celebrity they got to hang with and the money they got paid. I am not saying I have never done this. I know I am guilty of doing it, too. I am only human.

As days pass, the more and more I get connected to the Salvation Army. It is an organization more in-depth than you will ever know and more fascinating than you can ever imagine.

Each time, I go there I learn a little more about myself and who I am, along with getting an understanding of people.

For the first time, yesterday I photographed a soup kitchen. Most of them where regulars who came in to get a hot meal, to socialize and maybe to even get a hot shower. There was a community forming before my eyes. This was their way of life.

It is hard for me to edit those pictures -- you learn so much from the facial expressions. You sit back and realize that there really are people living on the streets, can't afford food to eat and haven't bathed in over weeks. All that comes out from a simple photo.

There was a guy yesterday, who stated 10 year's ago I was giving to the Salvation Army and today I am here receiving from Salvation Army. He went on to talk about how he used to be a business owner and now couldn't even afford food.

---

As I write this I can barely gather my thoughts and emotions to tell you about this situation. It may be hard on me, but when the day calls it quits I know that is exactly where I need to be. I am learning from people who I actually look up to. They may not be the prettiest people, or the wealthiest people, but they are people that are inspiring me to live out my dreams.

I try not to wish to be anyone else because there could be much more pain and suffering that I have experienced. I can't handle that, but I can tell you this, I look up to people. Whether you are rich or poor, you can change someone's life. It happened to me over the passed month.

---

I have no words to describe the emotions that I feel. It is just something I wish all of you, young or old can experience. I do not want to be put on a pedestal or be put down because of this. I don't want to be thanked or under appreciated. I just want you to experience this emotion that I am feeling.

As I close this, I want you to be thankful for what you got and what you don't have. I want you to understand that there are people out there who have a story that is worse than yours, and when you finally meet that person who is in worse condition than you are, listen to their story -- it probably is a good one.

Be blessed.

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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"If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way."

In the last month

2010-03-22T01:47:00.000-04:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

MARCH 21, 2010

It sure has been awhile since I have written an entry. It was not because I was slacking or didn't want to -- it was because I had no energy. I went full force at having this art show that it knocked the winds out of my sails. I found myself doubting myself, second guessing what I was doing, and just flat out feeling overwhelmed.

Many nights left me in tears or having an unnecessary argument with someone. I could tell you that was the last thing I wanted. I just wanted everyone to be my friend, everyone to understand what I was going through and just to listen to me bitch [for lack of a better word] then tell me everything was going to be okay.

I realized it was not healthy for me to be doing this, and before I knew it I was sitting at church at 8am listening to a priest talk. It was just what I needed to keep me motivated. As all of this was going on, there was nothing but sunshine. The perfect sign of what I needed. It brought me a smile and a little bit of hope.

Before I knew it, it was Thursday night and I was three hours behind schedule. And of course everyone knows that brings frustration, tears, and thoughts of second guessing, not something I wanted to happen the night before my show. After a long night of hanging my photos, I still wasn't ready. Friday was there before I knew it. I wasn't nervous, I was more overwhelmed. I thought what the hell am I doing.

And before I knew it, it was all over. The opening went perfectly. My brother kicked my night off perfectly. He sent me a red rose with a note that made me cry. My mom dealt with me yelling and many friends listened to me panic right until the start of opening.

I would like to think that I had the best opening there with the biggest crowd. I don't know how many people where there, but it was fantastic. I sure felt love that night. I sold eight photos from about seventeen of them. I consider that a success. I have yet to hear something negative about show. And I applaud myself for that.

I know I couldn't of done it without certain people, and they know who they are, but I stand proud of what I did, who I am and what I continue to be.

As I write this, I am filled with emotion. I have come a long way. I have grown and blossomed into something beautiful. I learned a lot in the last month. I finally listened, finally saw, and finally believed -- I can smile, pat myself on the back and realize that I can do anything that I put my heart into.

---

If you know me, I might of told you about the one bird and the symbolism behind it. [If you haven't heard it -- just ask me] I believe the symbolism was spread into many different things right before my opening.

I let my dogs out two days prior to my show and looked and saw a red bird sitting there. How cool, I thought. Just a simple way of him saying you can do it. It was something that kept me smiling throughout the day.

The next day I was driving with my sunroof open and I just happened to look up and there was a red airplane flying above me [He once had his pilot license]. This made me smile even bigger, he really is cheering me on -- he usually did when I had something big coming up.

And on the day of my show, I got a single red rose from my brother. I know it was my from my brother, but he always gave my mom red roses on special occasions. I feel that it was part him too along with my brother.

Signs may freak you out or simply may amaze you. The amaze me. It always brings things into perspective to me. They always happen when I seem to need them.

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A lot has gone down in the last month and I hope I can keep updating this on a regular basis. So, please stick with me. These times have been trying, emotional, overwhelming, and successful, but it is hard for me to get situated to settle down to write. I will do my best to keep you updated.

Thank you for your support, your love, your warmth, and your hospitality. Without you guys, I wouldn't of made it through. Remember to make things beautiful -- go say hello to a stranger, hold the door for an elder, or put a quarter in an expired parking meter. Also, know someone has a worse story to tell than you do.

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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"Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end" --anon.

Duck, Duck, Goose

2010-03-04T22:54:00.000-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

MARCH 3, 2010

“Take only memories, leave nothing but footprints.” Chief Seattle

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

Good Seeing You Today

2010-03-03T16:05:00.000-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

MARCH 2, 2010

Food for thought: Have you ever thought about someone or something and an hour or two days later you see them?

Let me know if that has happened to you?

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

Rabbit, Rabbit

2010-03-02T01:50:00.000-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

MARCH 1, 2010

My energy is running low. I have no motivation, but try to push myself on pure caffeine and adrenaline. I successfully spilled coffee all down my leg while driving and getting it all over the driver side of my car. This art show is a lot of work. Don't get me wrong I am having a blast doing it, but there are a lot of details that you don't realize.

The promoting, the planning, the finalizing, the framing, the showing, the art work itself. Let alone what do you say to people, how do you act, what do you wear. It is getting to me. I feel I bit off more than I can chew.

I need ten more hours in the day and interns to be doing my grunt work. I need three point 7 of me and a money tree to shake.

Please don't get me wrong. I am learning alot from this experience and alot about me, but the panic button was pushed. Less than two weeks, that is crunch time. No turning back.

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Happy note! My new flyers look amazing and stand out quite well. So do my business cards, magnets, post cards and rack cards. I also received a mouse pad, which I gave to my mom. Looks pretty amazing to me.

My flyers now hang in Rubber City Clothing, Made in Akron, Acme Artists, Cyrus Custom Framing, Absolute Tattoo Shop, Sonnets, Whole Day Cafe, and the Wadsworth Post Office.

Tomorrow the list will continue to grow. A skateshop, another Artish gallery, Possibly a club. I am trying to think of other places but my brain is not currently working. Hopefully more will be spread around. I love networking, but it sure is a lot of work.

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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There's always gonna be another mountain / I'm always gonna wanna make it move / Always gonna be a uphill battle / Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there / Ain't about what's waiting on the other side / It's the climb -- Miley

Object in Mirror is Crazy

2010-02-27T01:02:00.000-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 26, 2010

This picture was taken on the way home from a long day of getting supplies for my show. My mom drove me since the snow was picking up and my car is terrible in the snow. And I decided to start come up with ideas for my next show. I decided it would be called, "Drive by shooting." It is a joke, people.

I would be the passenger in the car and roll down my window and take pictures from the passenger side. Get it drive by shooting, get it. Okay, I thought it was hilarious. I am not saying it was a good idea, but an idea that cracked my mom up, so I figured you guys might like it, too.

The idea maybe terrible, but I am going to say the photos would probably be worse. So, that is something I will not pursue.

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Update: My show is coming together quite nicely. Photos keep getting re-matted and matted again. But I want them to be perfect. I feel I have some solid stuff going on.

I also, redid my flyer and think it looks quite nice. Some of my fliers will be put up in local business around Akron. So, keep on the support I could really use it in the next two weeks as it is winding down on crunch time.

Thank you guys for your love and support.

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

So what are your thoughts?

Diva Doxie

2010-02-27T00:43:00.001-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 24, 2010

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

I introduce to you for the very first time...

2010-02-26T23:44:00.001-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 23, 2010

S T A R M O N K E Y!

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

I want to Play Drums Behind my Back

2010-02-24T00:01:00.000-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 23, 2010

Today was the day, all right. I woke up at nine am and laid in bed until almost 9.45. I didn't know what this was a sign of. I could feel myself not having a good day. I contemplated emailing the kind lady who was taking her time to show me around.

I had a stomach thing going on yesterday, and today I could sense it was not going to be a good day. I managed to roll out of bed and make myself look somewhat presentable. Slightly agitated about everything, I managed to slide my shoes on and walk out the door, programmed my GPS twice --first time it failed on me -- buckled up and was on my way.

It wasn't in the best part of Akron, but I felt safe enough when I got out of my car and saw four big guys unloading a truck full of food. I wasn't sure if I should be nervous, anxious, excited, or what other emotion. I think I was a little of each.

I got a run down on some of the programs and got to tour the Salvation Army headquarters of Summit County. Met a few of the volunteers and some of the employees.

I was taken over to the preschool where I thought I would have the hardest dealing with. It looked just like a preschool. The kids were polite and very friendly. It made every emotion I had go away. They were so full of life and energy and you could tell each one had a story.

----

As I walked into the 3.5 and 4 year olds' room, I saw this kid who seemed to be big for his age. But I could see some awesome energy brewing off of him. As I stood in the door way observing the room, he goes I want to play drums and kept saying it. I tried to interact with him but I think I drew away from what they were trying to do.

The more time I was there the more he kept saying he wanted to play drums. I replied, "Really? That is pretty awesome!" And he kept pretending he was drumming. He goes I want to play drums behind my back and I want to play drums. He was so excited to talk about drumming.

I knew I wanted to work with Salvation Army in some way or another. As I saw they wanted a photographer, and I knew this was the time and place for it to happen.

As we sat down to discuss a few things, I felt more comfortable with the whole situation. I was then walked out and thanked for coming and checking the facility out.

I was walking to my car, I wanted to run back in and say count me in. I thought about it just to make sure as I drove around West Akron for a bit. I got home and emailed the lady and said I would love to help out. I even might be designing for them, too. Two things I am passionate about and all for the good of helping others. Killing so many birds with one stone.

I would say that signs lead me to where I am. I know that little boy will never read this, but I want to thank him from the bottom of my heart for repeatedly saying "I want to play drums!" I saw the passion in his eyes and the dreams he had, and I want to experience something so amazing and so touching. That little boy made me smile for the first and only time today. It was one magical moment and a sign saying, "this is where you need to be."

He also, made me realize that maybe he can help me cross off another item off my bucket list!

Little kids can be one the biggest blessings in your life. I know there are rough days, but usually when there is a little kid right there with something so innocent and so wonderful to say.

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

Everything.

2010-02-23T00:23:00.000-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 22, 2010

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A goal of mine is to make good and healthy decisions in my life. Ones that will positively impact my life. The kind that make you say, thank you and tell the story over and over again. Those are the decisions I want to make. I want to look back on my life and say, "WOW!"

I want to be inspired by my life.

As we get older, and reach the puberty of our adulthood we lose touch with our community and volunteering. We are figuring out who we are and where we fit. We move from city to city until we figure out where to settle, or where to sit still out until our next adventure. It is almost exhausting.

Over the last month or two, I have had something weigh on my heart. I tried to ignore it and the more and more ignored it the stronger it grew. My mom talked about it to me and how she wanted to help and the meetings she was going to just to do her part.

I thought to myself --as selfish as it did-- I do not want my mother out helping homeless people. I thought everything bad that could happen to her. Going out on the streets at night helping homeless people-- or from my understanding. It is something that did not settle in my stomach to well. I need a mom & that mom would be her.

The more I thought it, the more selfish it sounded to me. It broke my heart that I did not want homeless people to get help. I believe everyone deserves the same chance. Make yourself shine.

I came home one day from a meeting or a show or the studio, not sure which, but I sent out this text to some of my close friends stating what I wanted to do. I dream big when I dream, and I gave them a detailed message unsure of how they would react. There was a sense of reassurance that I was not off my rocker and it was somewhat realistic. [I don't going into detail what the item is on my bucket list yet. I want to get more details put together before I share it.]

I know right now that it is not physically possible for me to do nor am I emotionally ready to do so. I looked online of ways I could reach out to the homeless -- soup kitchens, volunteering, etc. And something told me to click on this volunteer link. And there it was. A posting on becoming a photographer for Salvation Army.

When I saw that it struck me like a bolt of lightning. I sat there and cried. I thought for a moment am I ready for this? I opened up a blank email and started writing. Not sure what I said or if my grammar was even correct, I know I wrote a fairly long explaination of how I wanted to help.

A few days passed and I heard nothing back. I looked back on the entry that was posted and it was dated back to the summer of 2009. I figured the opportunity had passed me by. I got back on and book marked a few more things. I held off on emailing those. I thought to myself am I really stable enough to be doing this?

I was talking to someone about the whole situation. They told to me think about long and hard before I made another decisions. However, they told me it was healthy for me to do what I did. It was just the reassurance I needed. I waited another day and I woke up Thursday morning to an email in my inbox.

The lady told me she understood and would be willing to meet me with me to talk me and show me around. There it was in front of me everything I hoped. Someone who understood me and was willing to put the time in.

As, I write this I am sitting in bed with tears in my eyes and butterflies in my stomach. Tomorrow is the day that I am one day closer to crossing off an item on my bucket list. I am going to Salvation Army to meet with the kind lady who is willing the time to meet with me and help me get to where I need to be.

Tomorrow, I hope to leave you an amazing story about my adventure. There is sunshine in my heart and a thank you to everyone who has made my life a little bit easier.

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

I was Almost Honest

2010-02-22T01:44:00.000-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 21, 2010

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The title may throw you for a loop on this posting. I can assure you it's not, and I am okay with that. It seems awfully contradictory, but to me it is only the right thing.

I sat in an English class my freshman year of college hating everything about it. It was late at night and way overrated. I hated the professor more than anything. Everything I did for that class was very sarcastic, but I do not take a moment back of it. As, I look back upon on it, it is everything that I feel today.

We went around the class one day talking about where we saw ourselves in five years. I didn't have much to say in class, so I just decide to say my dreams, but do it in a smart ass way because I knew everyone's dreams where straight off of MTV. And to this day, I accomplished everything that I said in that class. And I do not regret being a stubborn, immature freshman.

I just started to look back upon that day not too long ago. I often think of it randomly through out the day, should I? I have no idea, but I am glad I do. Dreams are something that some people make, but do not achieve. I dream them, and make them happen.

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Tonight, I was listening to Cleveland music awards on a local radio station. As each catagory was called, I would get more and more excited. Clients of mine won. The best vocalist is my very,very dear friend. Best Rock Band are four amazing kids with such a bright future and best blues is a very amazing friend.

I grew with excitement as if it was me who won. Then I realized these people who are winning awards are people I am working with, and people who I choose to surround myself with and people I can consider friends. It is such an amazing feeling to know that you are helping people's image as they are helping make your dreams come true.

There are days I question what I do and why I do it -- I feel as if I am getting no where taking two steps backward for every half step forward. But then there are days, that I want to high-five and hug everyone. But my friends, family and clients I tell you this, you mean the world to me. It is great to know that people out there trust me and trust my opinion. You help me get out of the bed in the morning and put my shoes on and start my journey.

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Who has helped your dreams come true? Or who have you helped to make their dreams come true. If you think about it you are probably effected someone out there. Yes, in a positive way. I hope you understand that. If you don't, I pray that you do. It is one of the most amazing things to hear someone say thank you, you have made this better in my life. If you don't feel you have ever been that to someone, please look deep inside of you. You are absolutely beautiful.

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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So come on let me see / I say baby you are amazing / I want to let you see / That you are everything and more to me / I will let you be I will I will. --Josh Kelley

Happy Plastic People

2010-02-21T11:01:00.000-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 20, 2010

Saturday was one of those days where I wasn't sure what type of mood I was in. Toward the end I realized I was fairly content. Not happy, not sad. Just somewhere in the middle. It was pretty laid back with not too much excitement going on.

I was on my way to church with my mom ad there it was -- that one bird. When it happens I tell no one that it happened or there it is. It is my one moment of serenity, my second of infinity. That sign was just what the doctor ordered.

As, I sat in church the deacon talked about how everyone has a story, some are good, some are bad, but everyone is different. And everything that happens in life, happens for a reason. So cliche, but something people need to hear. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Trust me, I know. Early evening on Saturday was my moment in life that said, this is what life is all about.

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Life is every emotion. It is a roller coaster of things that you may not know why it happened or what it was all about, but forms you into what you are today.

There are events I would change or actions I took, but I wouldn't change who I am. Dealing with a quarter-life crisis, makes me realize that I am not destined to have the life I planned when I was a little girl. All those ideas are now out the window. A friend once told me, "life is what happens, when you are planning it." Think about it. It is true. I will say I am now a believer in this saying.

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I am no expert in life, but don't let it pass you by. Let yourself be happy. Nowadays people are too down about everything. You turn on the news and it is who killed who, who cheated on who, the biggest tragedy, the largest recall and the unemployment rate.

Skip all the bad news and have some fun. Be sympathetic toward it, but don't let the negativity live inside of you. Take a look around, life isn't so bad after all.

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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Are we happy plastic people / Under shiny plastic steeples / With walls around our weakness / And smiles to hide our pain / But if the invitation's open /To every heart that has been broken / Maybe then we close the curtain / On our stained glass masquerade -- Casting Crowns

Just a Thought

2010-02-20T22:57:00.001-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 19, 2010

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You can pick your friends, but not your family. If you had a choice, would you pick your family? Think about it. It is a food for thought.

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. ~Jane Howard

I have a Rock in my Nose

2010-02-19T02:32:00.001-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 18, 2010

An oldie, but a goodie

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Today, I stopped into the dollar store to pick something up. I walked outside and as I was struggling to pull my keys out of my pocket, I looked up and saw a girl with big pink boots on and leopard print pants on playing in this puddle. She would just barely touch the toe of her boot to the puddle and then would stomp her foot in it. As her mom was yelling at her to hold her brother's hand because they were in a parking lot, made me realize being a little kid is something that seems pretty cool.

As we grow up, we want to be grown up. As I grow up, I want to be little. Life isn't bad, but sometimes being a kid seems nothing short of amazing. Riding your bike, coloring, nap time, and not even having to dress your self, how awesome are those things. Things were easy then.

Have you ever seen a kid in a store or place that was just so awesome you wanted to hang out with them? You wanted to take an adventure with them to the moon in a refrigerator box -- and be back just before dinner.

Next time you are out, high five that four year old kid looking at you with amazement in his eyes. Try on those light up shoes you still wish you had -- if they still fit. Buy an Easy Bake Oven and make dessert for the fam in it -- who couldn't go for a bite size dessert and I am sure the calorie count is low for those calorie pinchers.

Remember, life is what you make of it. Why not have a little fun? Release your inner kid. It is okay to smile every once in awhile.

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken. I'm looking for the seal." -- A young son, examining the contents of a box of Animal Crackers

For more quotes by little kids go to http://www.rinkworks.com/said/kidquotes.shtml

It will make you smile.

Never Found the Way

2010-02-18T00:28:00.001-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 17, 2010

Have you ever drove around until you got lost? Did you do it on purpose or was it because you had nothing better to do and didn't care?

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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If you know my destination please buy me the fastest car and throw me the keys. / 'Cos what if what we see is all, is all we've got? -- Missy Higgins

Watching the Credits Roll by

2010-02-18T00:17:00.001-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 16, 2010

Some days you can go from feeling great to dragging your feet. Yesterday was one of them.

I will leave you with this, no matter what, there is someone always out there that loves you and will do anything for you. Sometimes it's hard to see, but yes, someone out there cares about you and your well being.

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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I lie awake. / I left the porch light on. / I hope it helps you to find your way. -- Bonnie McKee

It was one of those moments

2010-02-16T01:46:00.001-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 15, 2010

If you had one person to hug today, who would it be --dead or alive, close or far, known or unknown? Why would you hug them? Would you know them or not know them? What would the purpose of the hug mean -- is it a thanks, a hello, lets talk or just a plain ol' hug? Think about it.

Something so simple is something so magical. Today was one of those days where I felt warmth, love, compassion, and excitement. I felt a tickle under my toes and a hug wrapped around me. It was Motivational Monday -- and it was a powerful one. I could of not asked for a more blessed day.

Today started as a normal day, wasn't sure where it took me, but it took me through my to-do list and even on to making a family recipe with no recipe card to follow [all from memory] -- and I nailed it. My salsa and cheese dip came out awesome. It was a little strong, but for the first time it was pretty spot on. Onion was too strong, but that just gave it the right kick! *hold your applause*

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I ran into a wonderful family friend today while picking up some photos. The brief chit chat I had with her brough sunshine into my day. I got this feeling of uncertainty when I walked in and when I left it left me with warmth and hope. Glad it did. I sat in my car and opened my envelope of photos -- as the nerves hit, I realized these photos where spot on to what I wanted.

I got home and put them on the counter. Let them sit there until my mom came home from work, I showed her and I was determained to frame one. After dinner was done, I pulled out all the frames I bought and all the paper and pictures. I was so inspired by all the color that overflowed on our counters. The picture I wanted to frame was not the right size neither was the frame. And as I started to play around with things and realized I had nothing I wanted my mom came up with the most brilliant idea -- and lo and behold another picture was matted and framed!

I would post for you all to see, but guess what you will have to come out on March 12 to see it! :)

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What do you think would happen if you smiled to one person a day, held the door for an elderly person, smiled at someone who was different from you, or even gave a dollar to that homeless person standing on the corner right off the highway? Are you to scared to because it is out of the norm, are you afraid someone is going to judge you, are you fearful that you might feel good? Try it one day. And come back and tell me how you feel, please. I would love to hear your story or you could even email me. I will give you a virtual high five and smile.

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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Save me from myself / You got my back when I need help / It's no one else in the world / You will always be my girl / You will always be x3 /My girl

Sometimes dreams they don't come true / I was scared that night when I met you / Well I stayed patient and I stayed kind / Telling you to take your time

Turn my life around / You made it okay to let you down / There's no one else in the world --Griffin House

I'm freer, and I'm wiser, and I'm stronger…

2010-02-15T01:36:00.002-05:00

D E S I G N O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 14, 2010

First off, Happy Valentine's Day. Hope you spent it with your loved ones. Just remember, to show your love everyday just not today.

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I made this poster for a project on Creative Allies. I found it in a magazine advertisement. The advertisement was promoting a design contest on how music inspires you. I figured I had to check it out. Glad I did. I found what seems to be another social network for designers. I thought I had signed up for a great portion of them, but I guess not.

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Yesterday, I saw a guy propose to his girlfriend. It was the first time I have ever seen that. It was such a cool thing to see. It made me treasure the small things, the greater things, the things not seen every day. What is something that has made you feeled inspried in the last few days? Anything? Think about? Have you seen or done something for the first time this week or last week?

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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I try not to leave songs on here, just the chorus or a verse not the whole thing, but I think this song is pretty amazing. It is very true of how I feel. Read the lyrics and download it. Beautiful song.

Crushed and Created
By Caitlyn Smith/Sara Groves/Gordon Kennedy

Looking back on the things that found me
Places I would never choose
The same things that both haunt and heal
My demons and my muse

We are crushed and created
Melted and made
Broken and built up in the very same way
What I thought I could handle
What I thought I could take
What I thought would destroy me
Leaves me stronger in its wake

And there are times that I've underestimated
Both the grief and goodness found in something new
Where one thing dies, something else can be created
And though it's truth you find, it's innocence you lose

We are crushed and created
Melted and made
Broken and built up in the very same way
What I thought I could handle
What I thought I could take
What I thought would destroy me
Leaves me stronger in its wake

I'm not the me that I started with
My friends say my eyes are brighter
I'm not the me that I started with
I'm freer, and I'm wiser, and I'm stronger…

We are crushed and created
Melted and made
Broken and built up in the very same way
What I thought I could handle
What I thought I could take
What I thought would destroy me
Leaves me stronger in its wake...

It leaves me stronger

An Eye for an Eye

2010-02-15T00:29:00.000-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 13, 2010

Need I explain more? This is what happens when you give me an eye sticker while completely sober and extra time to spare in a valet waiting room.

My cuzzy was kind of enough to snap this photo.

The sticker was also a source of entertainment. I had gone to the Amplexus show at the House of Blues and forgot my camera on the coffee table. The lighting was perfect and left me a little disappointed. I hate when I do silly things like that. I am a photographer. I should have my camera attached to my waist. How sad! Oh well, lesson learned, check your purse before you leave.

Hope your Saturday night was filled with greatness, love and life.

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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²³And if any mischief follow, then thou shalt give life for life, ²⁴Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, ²⁵Burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe. ²⁶And if a man smite the eye of his servant, or the eye of his maid, that it perish; he shall let him go free for his eye's sake. ²⁷And if he smite out his manservant's tooth, or his maidservant's tooth; he shall let him go free for his tooth's sake.

Independent Woman

2010-02-15T00:16:00.000-05:00

D E S I G N O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 12, 2010

This was designed for someone that used to be in one of my classes. It is a cd cover. He wanted his face and a silhouette of a confident looking woman with him infused. Not exactly sure if this was what he was thinking, but loved the design. His face is actually the girl's body. What do you think?

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

Won't you be my TV Dinner Date

2010-02-13T13:19:00.001-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 11, 2010

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I know it is Saturday and I am just now posting Thursday's photo. Oops. It has been busy around here and I have been quite exhausted. This snow is bringing me to complete exhaustion.

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Post cards are designed. The red is one side and the white is the other. What do you think?

I wanted them to be contrasted, and I think that does it for sure.

Now I am looking to do these for reasonably priced -- suggestions on printers?

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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times are tough, and love it is always rough / you give your all, but your all is not enough / like a book on tape, digital escape / won’t you be my tv-dinner date / culture satiated with celebrity / all trying to look like the models in the magazines /where normallacy is the fallacy / why can’t we make this dream reality --David Ullman

Lets Catch Amnesia

2010-02-11T01:58:00.000-05:00

P H O T O | D E S I G N O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 10, 2010

Here it is. It is finally done. My shoot was not very successful but got a handful of pictures. I have a bruised big toe, so the shoot was painful and I really didn't have the motivation. I on the other hand was pleased with what came out. Got quite a few good advertisements going on with the photos, however. :) Thank God for Photoshop.

My saying for the show is "it's more than a hair color -- it's my photos". I thought that was pretty unique and creative. Well, at least for me, any way.

Tomorrow, I am going to make the handbills, new business cards, and posters. Anyone know of any place I could distribute those too. I want to make this big. It is my first showing and I want to make a scene. I am good at that.

The details are now released on the show. Check the flier out for more details or feel free to leave me comments.

I also, am going to be putting things on Etsy. I am all about this thing now. Photo of the day, framing photos, in which I framed my first photo yesterday for the show.

I am moving right along. I am pleased with the progress. What do you say!

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This blog is getting quite lonely. I want to hear from you guys. You guys keep me motivated, but I am not hearing from you. How about a hello! Please!

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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Lets break walls, so we see through / Let love and peace lead you / We could overcome the complication cause we need to / Help each other, make these changes / Brother, sister, rearrange this / The way I'm thinking that we can change this bad condition / Wait, use you mind and not your greed / Let's connect and then proceed / This is something I believe / We are one, we're all just people -- Black Eyed Peas

Within yourself

2010-02-10T00:45:00.000-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 9, 2010

Bring on the snow. My fire was lit all day. I ran my errands as soon as I got up and I came back home and snuggled into my sweats. I was not going anywhere. I parked myself in front of the TV with my laptop, Chex Mix, phone, and a cup of Cherry Pepsi. I could not complain.

I kept staring at the fire I lit shortly after noon, it was my motivation to leave myself parked right where I was. :) Thank you, Mr. Fire! I was pleased to photograph you even though you almost caught my hair on fire. oopsie!

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I have been learning alot about myself lately. I feel as if I am stepping away from the negativity and stepping toward the positive. Thank you, God. I like to smile and giggle more. As before, I felt guilty for smiling or having fun. But now I think I deserve that.

A person can only handle so much pain and hurt before they have to stand up to it and face it. It is a hard thing to face -- trust me, I know first hand. Letting all the pain and hurt go is one scary monster. Who wants to face that monster when there is a chance of getting eaten alive again.

If you want happiness you got to find within yourself. No one else is going to make you happy when the day ends. You never know when that someone is going to be gone, whether it be a parent, a sibling, a lover, a teacher, a soulmate, a best friend. They make you happy for the time being, but when they are gone what will you do.

A very dear friend of mine always told me this. I always thought I understood it, but I was fooling myself. I didn't know. I feel embarrassed for thinking I knew this. Day in and day out, he always told me and still does, to find happiness within myself. I won't say I am completely happy, but I am content. If I can smile atleast once a week, I will consider that content.

Take this time and reflect on something special -- a friend, a family member, a pet or a mentor -- where would you be without them. Send them a card, give them a call or a text, some how thank them for being special. They are the people that want you to wake up and be the best you can be. Please consider yourself blessed.

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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They say there's nothing more than what we see / Life is a mirage we are forced / They say that we must prepare to fail / I will keep fighting till I can't -- Mia Carruthers and the Retros

That Lady has Red Hair

2010-02-09T01:49:00.000-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 8, 2010

Why is waking up always so hard. It is something I hate doing. I wish I could skip that and getting ready every day. It just takes so much effort. I showered last night before I went to bed just so I could sleep in instead of getting up and showering. I really hate showering too, even though I do it. Who really wants to get ready? Really?

You are probably wondering what the photo and this have in common. If you look at it, the answer is nothing. However, I drug myself out of bed this morning got ready and said put your coat on and walk out the door. Get in your car and leave. That is exactly what I did. I grabbed my camera and headed to the studio. It was a very productive day there. I got over 900 photos, of course more than half were bad, but a lot of good ones. It left me motivated, which was perfect. It is Motivation Monday. Crazy, I know, but it is something I do every Monday. I get a lot done, but also take the time out for me. It is a great thing -- Try it!

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Today, I went to Target to get a few things, as I was walking out of the cosmetic department I saw this boy, who was no older than 4 -- I believe he was 3. He was sitting in the cart and just talking to his mom, then all of a sudden his eyes got to be the size of saucers. He looked at me with amazement and pointed. His mom politely told him not to point, and he could not find the words he wanted to say. He opened his mouth in awe and yelled, "That lady has red hair." And he kept saying or should I say yelling it. His mom then said very hesitantly, "and it is very pretty."

It was one of those moments where you smile and thank God for the little moments in life that keep you going. I don't know who that little boy is, I may never see him, but I thank him for making me smile -- a genuine smile. And in return, I hope I made at least one person smile today -- a real genuine smile. I may never know, but I hope I accomplish it.

It is amazing to know that someone is smiling because you smiled at them first. Smiles are contagious, so bring 'em on!

Count your blessings, shovel your neighbors driveway, put a quarter in an expired parking meter, or hold the door for an elderly person, but do them all with a smile. Pass it on - it is contagious.

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!
Lesley

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I'm all for love / But I can't see the light / Tell me how to do it / Tell me how I'm gonna get it right / I'm all for love / I'm gonna try it again / I don't wanna give up / Cause I'm all for love -- Serena Ryder

I wear no pants!

2010-02-07T22:17:00.000-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 7, 2010

Since I posted a picture of my other dogs I figured, I needed to add the little princess. The snow here is knee high. Our little weeny dog can barely get past the drive way, even after we shoveled her a path. She is looking out in envy of the two golden retrievers. She gets jealous when she can't play the role of a big dog.

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Update on art show: My other photo shoot did not take place today, but hopefully in the next few days. Things are getting pushed around due to a rumor. Rumor has it, another snow storm is coming this week. So I am going to the studio tomorrow to get some more shots in for my show before the snow storm. And then I can work on those and my shoot at home. Hopefully the storm happens for the sake of me getting things done. For those who have to drive in it, I apologize.

Also, I found a black leather jacket for my shoot. That shoot is shaping up and I can't complain. And will be amazingly good if things continue to go as planned.

For once I feel I have planned things out. Strange for me, I know.

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Count your blessings. And throw a snow ball at someone to start some fun. Start a fire inside and cuddle with someone or something special. Keep it real.

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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Yeah gotta start / Looking at the hands of the time we've been given here / This is all that we got and we gotta start thinkin it / Every second counts on a clock that's tickin / Gotta live like we're dying / We only got 86 400 seconds in a day / To turn it all around or throw it all away / We gotta tell em that we love em / While we got the chance to say / Gotta live like we're dying -- Kris Allen

Love is like a virus that has no cure

2010-02-06T23:52:00.002-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 6, 2010

I was trying to get back on track with the photo of the day. Yesterday's photo shoot did not go so good. So I opted out on posting any of those. Didn't want you guys to think I was less than perfect. I know that is hard to believe that I am less than perfect. {I am kidding}

I however, carried on with my Valentine's day themed shoot. I hung the hearts from the basement ceiling on wood beams. I woke up to find half of them on the floor. Extremely agitated that my foot was swollen and it felt that I dunked my big toe in icy hot did not help. But I sucked it up and went on for that was my game plan for today.

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Tomorrow, I am setting up my shoot for my art show. I got the red shoes, some props, and the determination to finish up the advertising end of it all. I want to go to print by Tuesday or Wednesday at the latest.

With further updates on my show, I am up to six pictures frames and on Friday before the snow storm I got a few photos printed out. Things are finally starting to fall into place. It is a great feeling to feel a head of the game instead of drowning in procrastination which I am really good at.

Last week when I went to the studio I got some great shots. I think I will be going up there on Tuesday to get some more. I really like how things are going and I feel things are going my way. {knock on wood, right?}

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With feeling ahead of the game, my good friends, Amplexus, just released 3 songs total yesterday on facebook and myspace. One of the songs overlaps but a different one on each. As well as, the new song releases, they launched their new myspace in which, yours truly designed. {not bragging or anything} Check the guys out. They might be a little heavier for some of you, but nonetheless check them out. Great guys with big hearts. Support what they do and keep the music scene alive.

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I hope this finds you well and you are filled with warmth and love. It's a great day to be alive and for you to get up and hug someone or even smile at a stranger. I hope you remember the smaller things in life are sometimes the finer things.

And remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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Stuck in this town of phobias / He has not grace but he's all heart / I am complete and not alone / And I made this just for you -- Amplexus

Look at you, pretty girl

2010-02-05T12:05:00.002-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 4, 2010

After I said I was going to try the photo of the day, every day, I had a few rough days and I had to get back into the swing of things. I guess sometimes I open my mouth before thinking. Anyway, lets hope I can keep this up now.

*cross your fingers, please*

A little note about this photo: I was walking out to go to the studio and to work on the Red Shoe Chronicle, which I am glad to say it is over. As I was walking out, Sophie, our mini weeny dog was laying in a sunspot and the lighting was perfect. I snapped a few photos and I looked up and saw Chloe looking at me. So, I decided to shoot a couple photos of her as well. And this one of the sweetest pictures I have taken of her. :)

I am setting up a shoot for me. One regarding The Red Shoe Chronicle and one for Valentine's day. Photos for that along with a few designs will be posted.

You can follow me more on facebook or myspace.

I would love to hear feedback -- good or bad.

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Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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“I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too, So we're really not that different, me and you.” Colin Raye

Pick your Adjective

2010-02-02T10:59:00.001-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

FEBRUARY 1, 2010

Each day I want to do a photo of the day. It helps me keep myself motivated and determined to be the best photographer and designer I can be. Whether it is a photo or a design it will be determined on how I feel that day. It is a good exercise for me. I hope you.

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

Right off of Ira

2010-02-01T19:54:00.008-05:00

P H O T O O F T H E D A Y

JANUARY 31, 2010

“At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you? - Jay London

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

I need you to relax, kiddo

2010-01-29T23:05:00.001-05:00

Last week, could of not been any longer. There were ups and downs, but mostly downs. I tried everything to get myself out of the downward spiral, but failed miserably. Nothing that was said made me feel right, no action was warm enough. I felt as if I was being sucked into a black hole, and I was running the opposite direction. I was losing this battle of staying strong even though every tear was dried up by a dog, every night was filled with an I love you and a good night, every morning was welcomed with a dog snoring next to me, and every freak out was followed by just relax, you are okay.

I didn't think I was okay. I felt as hell was living inside of me. I didn't understand this concept as I had many meetings previous to this, and I was nothing but motivated and determined to make the most of it. Times change I would say.

Friday rolled around and a good friend of invited me over to her brother's house. He had be deployed to Iraq and is now back home. [Welcome back, Austin. Glad you are home. <3] I had not seen him for a while, but that there made me realize something. Don't know what, but it made me realize something.

The next day, I returned a phone call from my friend Bryan. I had not talked to him in awhile -- Fall sometime. When I was talking to him I felt like I was talking to a reflection of myself. He told me some great news and I could of not been more proud of him. As Monday rolled around he gave me greater news. My wish for him came true.

From there on out, my cloudy days turned into sunshine and rainbows. It is the greatest feeling to be surrounded by love and support. And knowing it is genuine.

----

I feel so far behind on doing stuff for my art showing. I thought about canceling it many times, but knew it wasn't fair to the parties involved. Feeling not confident about it, I was on my way to Kent the other day and I got the greatest sign from someone special.

As I got off the exit, I looked up and there was a single red balloon circling in the sky. I know who this was from --it was someone who was always there, who was one of my biggest fans even when we didn't get a long. I wasn't sure if I should cry or if I should smile. So I did a little of both. And I knew it was his way of saying, "Wuzzy, you can do it." I looked up at the sky and said thanks and blew him a kiss.

With the emotions aside, in the past few days I accomplished a lot for my big show. But I never found my red leopard heels I need. I got five frames at decent prices, some really good photos, frost bite and the determination to do this. Who said this was painless? :)

----

Special thanks to the following: Momma Unit, Ol' Aaron Moses, Maurice, Amber, Austin, and Bryan.

----

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

----

So fathers, be good to your daughters / Daughters will love like you do / Girls become lovers who turn into mothers / So mothers, be good to your daughters too. -John Mayer

Morning comes too soon

2010-01-28T15:16:00.001-05:00

There are days that I wake up completely agitated and I just want to sleep. But I know I can't back to sleep because I have a list of things that I have to do.

Yesterday was one of them. Even though it was highly agitating it was a day that I needed to get things done. Some accomplished, some not. During the day I was pissed that I could not accomplish most of it, but by night fall I did not care and all I wanted to do was go back to bed.

I reflected on the day and once again, I counted my blessings. I am more talented than I give myself credit for, I am funnier than I crack myself up to be, and I am blessed with some of the greatest family (, dogs) and friends a girl could ask for.

I am posting a picture from the shoot I did yesterday. Gotta keep on doing things when you don't want to make yourself stronger. And that is what I did.

I will post another entry soon when I get my thoughts together and my adventures the last few days. Some good, some bad, but over all well worth it.

Thanks for reading and the endless support.

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

I am back

2010-01-25T14:40:00.003-05:00

H E L L O T H E R E !

It has been more than two years since I have written in/on here. I must say, excuse my mess that I may have left on here. Not exactly why I quit writing in here, but why don't I start fresh.

Times change and so has my life. I am not here to sit and complain about what has happened. I want to reflect on my dreams, my bucket list and so much more. Sit down, buckle up and enjoy the ride. [Remember to keep your arms and legs in the vehicle at all times while the ride is moving. For if some reason you need to depart, wait till it comes to a complete stop and take precautions.] I would also like to hear from you. Positive, negative, critique or compliment, I would love to hear it and I take each and every one to heart. It's a New year. Why not have a new attitude and a new outlook. Thank you for stopping by.

-----

Dreams come and dreams go. Bucket lists are written, but are they truly checked off? Lately, the bucket list is the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing at night. It has become almost an obsession, I am mere OCD about my bucket list. It is crazy, but it keeps me driven. Don't know about focused, but driven. It's a strange thing, but I kind of like. It's like a boyfriend, fiance, or even a spouse, but not. Crazy, I know!

A year ago, I had one of the best things happen to me. I walked into a venue to see my favorite band play, of course I was fully equipped with camera, lenses, and flash, and many memory cards. I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but I thought there was a reason I went to this show an hour away by myself in the middle of winter. As I rounded the corner, I saw four guys. I was unsure of what to do since I was standing there by myself. I swallowed my pride for a minute and a slide over, and I looked at one of them and said, "Are you Tony?" After that it was history.

I got to go "backstage" and hang out with the band. And on top of all that they were even staying in my hometown for the weekend, so that meant I got to spend more time with them -- drinks, movies, quality time, some karaoke and coffee. What a girl's dream -- to hang out with her favorite band of all time.

I was completely blessed. I got to experience something so amazing, but I knew there was more -- wasn't quite sure of what it was. As our night of drinking came to an end, it reached a serious point. The coffee seemed to have brought the conversation to a more grown up one, one that will probably change my life forever.

Shaun, the drummer and I were talking -- I forget what it was about, but it made me realize I was going to be hooked with them for more than my teeny bopper years [yes, I am 24 and still feel like a teeny bopper]. Shaun was talking about his beautiful daughter and when she was born. I was so excited to hear about her and how beautiful she was. We then started talking about death, which seemed kind of odd to be talking about after a happy night of drinking. I forget who asked who, but the date came up -- April 8, 2008. It was a moment where chills ran down your back and goose bumps covered your arms and you became speechless. For every passing, there is a baby born. And that is the day we will forever share.

A couple days later, I get a text message, "We are playing in Indiana at a private party, we want you to shoot it." There was not even a nanosecond that past and I responded I would love to. A month later I packed up my car for my three day journey. I got to see a private practice, in which they played my favorite song for me and to only me, got bonding time, the best photographs, the best memories that will never be erased, and four really good friends plus a couple.

It started with a simple nerdy hello and ended with four good friends plus a couple -- who I still consider my favorite band. [Thank you, Eliot, Bryan, Tony & Shaun plus CP and Marcus] And a check on my bucket list.

-----

Life can be any emotion, any feeling at any time. You can go from being completely depressed to the opposite extreme in a matter of a day. Or vise versa. I have experienced what seems to be every combination, but in the end who says true emotions aren't real. Life is what you make of it. So, make the best of it, you only have one life to live. And make a bucket list and continue on the journey.

In the next month or so, I will be writing about my journey through the next item on my bucket list -- to have my very own art showing. It will be about my struggles, my accomplishments, my thoughts and my stories.

As I once said [regarding my bucket list] These ideas may be ridiculous and greedy or deep and compassionate, but they are who I am. I don't know when I will kick the bucket, but now is the time I need to slip on my shoes and get going on my way. With this, I invite you to come along to hear my stories, hold my hand, or even sit down for a laugh and an adult beverage.

I want to thank each and everyone of you for stopping by and continuing to be a support, a friend and a fan. It means a lot to me and I hope you continue. On rough days, you are the ones that keep me going -- Thank you.

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!
Lesley

-----

May every star you wish upon / And every hope you're hangin' on come true / Out of everybody in the world / There's no one who deserves it more than you / I hope you find / Everyhing you've been dreamin' of / Only good things -- Blessid Union of Souls

Anytime, sweetheart

2007-10-04T21:58:00.001-04:00

Tattooing world is a differnt world.

2007 Molson Battle of the Band Champion

2007-10-04T21:50:00.000-04:00

Winslow is playing at Fat Fish Blue on Friday

Congrats to them
www.myspace.com/winslowsoul

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty,
Lesley

It has to be a country song.

2007-09-17T00:12:00.000-04:00

Talk after talk, beer after beer. Stories start to become one that people share Ones were emotions fill them and many people can relate to one silly story.

After talking to this band, So It Goes, it was like the realization that you have money in your pocket that you didn't know you had or you have the best of friends of all time or that yoou are just like someone else. This world isn't the one you thought it was. The world is so similar to you. Not everyone is greedy, not everyone is mean. Thank a friend next time you sit and talk with them even if you do argue, thank them.

Count your blessings and color outside of the lines if you want. The next person isn't perfect either.

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty.
Lesley

Micah

2007-09-16T22:10:00.000-04:00

It's when the beat of the drum makes you smile.

The distance are far, but the memories are close

2007-09-16T21:48:00.000-04:00

I hope you don't mind me saying
I think you're so lovely
I hope you don't mind me staying
Cause I might never leave

-saving jane

Friends that will last a life time.

2007-09-16T21:38:00.000-04:00

This past week, I had the greatest experience of my life. Or well one of them. I met five really good friends that I plan on to keep. Not only did I feel like I have known them forever they made me realize there are still nice people out there. They may be across the country in Minnesota, but I feel as if they are in my back yard. I love them whole-heartedly and hope to go visit the soon. Check them out at www.soitgoes.com

Thank you Micah, Adam, Lee, Travis, and Brian. I love you. and many kisses.

It's more than just bad breath

2007-09-16T20:55:00.000-04:00

“What garlic is to food, insanity is to art." -- Augustus Saint-Gauden

Remember, I can make ugly,
Lesley

When garlic comes around...

2007-09-16T20:44:00.000-04:00

A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat” -- proverb

Life does not always point you in directions of where you think you will go. The adventure is quite a ride when you let go of the norm and grab the new journey one step at a time.

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty.
Lesley

i'm going to make it rain

2007-08-02T21:59:00.000-04:00

I meet new people all the time. God has blessed me with talented cients and is lettng me work with people who help me as well.

Above is Chevy from the Florida Boys

Enjoy.

Count your blessings and don't take advantage of who you meet.

Lesley
Remember I can make ugly, pretty.

Hammered

2007-07-16T21:56:00.000-04:00

I ventured to Habitat for Humanity to shoot an assignment. It was something that will change your view on things.

Lesley,
remember, I can make ugly, pretty.

Mullet Man or a song too late

2007-07-16T21:44:00.000-04:00

David Ullman
July 4 2007

www.myspace.com/davidullmanmusic
support local music

Lesley
remember, I can make ugly, pretty.

The bells will be ringing.

2007-07-10T23:01:00.000-04:00

Mr and Mrs Lees
June 23 2007

Star spangled

2007-07-10T22:07:00.000-04:00

Wadsworth, Ohio
Third of July

Lesley
remember, I can make ugly, pretty.

Fireworks

2007-07-10T22:05:00.000-04:00

Wadsworth, Ohio
Third of July

Lesley
remember, I can make ugly, pretty.

From sea to shining sea.

2007-07-10T22:03:00.000-04:00

Wadsworth, Ohio
Third of July

Lesley
remember, I can make ugly, pretty.

America the beautiful

2007-07-10T21:57:00.000-04:00

Wadsworth
Third of July

Lesley
remember, I can make ugly, pretty.

And the rocket's red glare

2007-07-10T21:54:00.000-04:00

Wadsworth Fourth of July
on the Third of July

Lesley
remember, I can make ugly, pretty.

Typical America

2007-07-08T18:46:00.000-04:00

An orchard in the boondocks of Ohio
Summer 2007

Hey Mr. Green Eyes

2007-07-08T11:25:00.000-04:00

Nate Vaill of Nate x 10
www.myspace.com/natex10

Support local musicians. Help make their dreams come true.

Follow your dreams and get up and dance.

Lesley
remember, I can make ugly, pretty.

Moo!!!

2007-07-08T11:10:00.000-04:00

Farm some place outside of Wadsworth.
Summer 2007

Take a breath of fresh air, and count your blessings.

Lesley
remember, I can make ugly, pretty.

Here comes the bride

2007-06-26T23:01:00.000-04:00

Mr. and Mrs. Jared Lees
June 23, 2007

rock on.

2007-06-26T22:36:00.000-04:00

Practice makes perfect. Spending much time in the studio with bands, I came to conclusion recording is tough and very time consuming. God bless musicians.

Lesley
remember, I can make ugly, pretty.

Welcome to Ohio

2007-06-26T22:33:00.000-04:00

Cherish summer evenings.

Lesley
remember, I can make ugly, pretty.

keep truckin'

2007-06-26T21:59:00.000-04:00

What about that. Number three.
Enjoy the treat.

Lesley
remember, I can make ugly, pretty.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

2007-06-26T21:50:00.000-04:00

In the past week, I have experienced things I never thought I would. It made me realize I need time for myself. So, I did some shooting of my own.

I hope you enjoy this photo,
Count your blessings and remember the finer things in life.

Lesley
remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

rough times.

2007-06-26T21:38:00.000-04:00

I promised you a photo a day, but times have hit hard and I don't think I can do the photo a day. I however, thank everyone who checks out this page.

I however decided to shoot for myself. Yesterday, I decided to do a little shooting of my own. I savored the sunset, the warm weather, and took advantage of a closed apple orchard. I took my friend Liz with me and I captured the finer moments.

Take advantage of those moments, they only last so long.

Lesley
remember, I can make ugly, pretty.

One key at a time

2007-06-02T19:49:00.001-04:00

Curtis Tate on keys. www.myspace.com/1959band

A new project for myself

2007-05-30T12:57:00.001-04:00

As some of you may now, I have my head and finger wrapped around many projects as of lately, well, I am about to add to that. I know you are thinking, wow, she is crazy. But for my own sake I need to do this for me. Bands and music and people are pretty much my life, every weekend you can probably see me at least a show or perhaps ten. It all depends on my weekend. If I am not at a show, I am more than likely hanging out with the band.

***

Some of you may have realized I have been living in a daze forgetting who I am or what I am doing. I forget minor details and sometimes the major ones, so now is the time I set myself free from all the work I do for others and do something for me.

I am going to try to have a photo a day type deal on here. I want to display that I can do just more than band photography, but the artsy fartsy more in-depth stuff.

So with saying that, I would like you to help me. I need feedback and perhaps what you would like to see from me. Help support me on this and continue with what you do.

I love you all and thank you so much for everything you do for me.

Remember, the finer things in life and count your blessings.

Thank you

Lesley
Remember, I can make ugly, pretty.

Remember today as if it is your last

2007-05-29T16:30:00.000-04:00

We should give meaning to life, not wait for life to give us meaning. - unknown.

Creativity

2007-05-29T14:43:00.000-04:00

I can do more than just photogrpahy. I work hand in hand with a local band, 1959, [www.myspace.com/1959band]. This was one of the most recent flyers I have made and one of my favorites so far. Hope you enjoy it.

Thanks for checking in.

Lesley

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty.

Welcome to a world of acoustic music

2007-05-29T14:24:00.000-04:00

Here is one of my most recent photos. I have been working closely with a band, Nate x 10, and helping them shoot photos for there up and coming cd. It is a lot of work but it is well worth it in the end. I hope you enjoy this photo. And I ask for feed back. Thank you and enjoy.

Lesley
Remember, I can make ugly, pretty.

Welcome

2007-05-28T21:25:00.000-04:00

Hello Everyone!!

This is Lesley from lesley.anne.katzenmeyer. photography and wuzzy b design[ing]. I am using this to help me get feed back and thoughts on my work. Not all of you have myspace and can easily look at my photos, but this will help you look at what I have been doing.

Thank you so much for your time, and please enjoy.

Lesley